post-dated: thursday, march 25th

its 10:30 and i was hoping to be in bed by 8. im really feeling exhausted for the first time in nearly three weeks, and although i’m in need of sleep, i’m not finding it. the second the electric cut off, i noticed, even through my eye mask and ear plugs and being on the verge of unconsciousness. i laid there in my frustration for 20 minutes or so only to grow warmer. so i sprayed on the 40% deet and headed outside. this breeze is amazing; it has to be at least twenty degrees cooler out here. the sounds of the night are always lively; the street never seems to sleep. the mango tree rustles in the night breeze, gently scraping the aluminum roof in a sort of eerie cadence of the eve.

today was a frustrating day in general. i feel under utilized because i haven’t joined any of the additional ministry opportunities here or any of the extra curricular school activities. but i really just feel like this is the pace that the Lord would have me on. i’m still struggling to find a good balance of time for myself, and i need to be more stingy with that. just this week alone has been: morning intercession 3 days, 3 night meetings for prayer and worship over the prayer room, a teacher staff meeting, a YWAM staff meeting, ladies group meeting, and tomorrow night will be birthday night. all within 5 days. its a lot to schedule around, and still socialize, and have my own quiet times with the Lord, teach, and lesson plan. i’m getting more used to it all, but i’ve got to find-- no, make time for myself to just be alone and get rest.

i’m really loving what the Lord is doing here. He’s at work in my heart and life in major ways, and i am trusting Him to reveal them to me in His own perfect timing. I was hoping tonight would be one of those nights that i just heard His voice call me to come meet with Him outside since I couldn’t sleep, but i just prayed for a while and came anyways. i need to be still and listen. i’m going to do that right now, although i’ll have to drown out the roosters and watch for falling mango.