four-day weekend.

i sit amidst the chaos of the cafeteria tonight; both comforted and chilled by the brisk north wind that is whisking through the open air caf. base kids are running amuck, ball and cane in hand. dance class is being held in the breezeway room, and random pockets of st. marc DTS and the other DTS outreach teams are talking, laughing, or playing cards in between the stacked chairs from dinner. the night is fresh (not a word used often in haiti), but it is welcomed. i just scored a pair of polka-dot rainboots from a short-term volunteer that leaves in the morning. after men's group gets out tonight, we're headed to deli mart, for lack of a better send off.

this day has been unexpectedly uneventful; but i can't complain at that. for a four-day weekend, i'm rather shocked at how quickly the sand drained before our very eyes.

friday morning, the teachers headed down to port-au-prince for the day with karen, erika, and clinton as they left to return to the states. i was really eager to go down; in all the relief efforts that the base is directly involved in here in st. marc, i've felt a sort of desensitization about the earthquake. this is normal to me, but i haven't been able to see how drastically life was turned on its head both in this city and nation. i was praying PaP would be a huge wake-up call to me, a reality check of sorts, and i feel like it accomplished that. with every blink, new signs of devastation were always present in your peripherals. entire city blocks decimated. concrete, several feet thick, torn, wrangled and twisted around re-barb that shared more of a resemblance with licorice strings than steel.

but i was encouraged. even in front of such destruction and obvious pain, the city appeared to have a sense of life to it. street food and venders littered the gateways to the tent cities. relief projects and humanitarian aid organizations were ever present on the roadways. i'm not trying to gloss over the fact that this country is in obvious and desperate ruin; i am however trying to bring to light what God is doing in the broken hearts of these people.

peterson, the YWAM PaP pioneer, drove us around the city, stopping first at a tent city that housed, for lack of better terms, 10,000 people. the UN wasn't doing food distribution here because of the size and disorganization of it, and the people were forced to go out on the streets to either scavenge, beg, barter, or buy if they could, food to provide for their family. rows of tents sprawled out in every which direction, putting faces with the numbers and statistics.

next, peterson drove us to the huge catholic church in PaP. all of the walls stood in ruins, but the concrete cross was left, completely untouched, in an odd juxtaposition to the destruction behind it. a man that had been at the church during the earthquake was there again, in my best guess living there on the streets. he told us the story of how the earth started shaking as he was waiting for his daughter. as he ran to find her, part of the concrete church wall collapsed on him, severing his leg from his body at the top of his thigh. he walked with crutches; one leg of his shorts empty. where his leg used to be, now a small, bandaged nub slightly protrudes.

another man played us a song on his guitar that he wrote about the earthquake: "the catholics called out, "Jesus!". the protestants called out, "Jesus!". the voodoo priests called out, "Jesus!"" he sang. for these people, this earthquake shook more than the ground; it broke their homes, it severed their limbs, it rattled their lives.

we stopped at the YWAM port-au-prince base, a shared building with an existing orphanage for children with special needs. it is totally not up-to-par with our standards, especially for children with special needs, but it has been ran with love for over 30 years now. i met 6/7-year-old isabella, the first child they took in from the earthquake. she sat, strapped in a somewhat-crude wheelchair, with a drooling and rotting smile shamelessly plastered to her face. her frail body looked much underweight for her age, but beautiful nonetheless. i then met with krystal, a simple and content 15-year-old girl, who became both an orphan and amputee at the massive 7.1 quake that rocked port-au-prince that fateful day. her mood and disposition never hinted at the pain or heartbreak she obviously had endured. she spoke to me (and i to her) in broken french, saying she used to go to school until the earthquake. she loves playing basketball. she does not have any brothers or sisters, but i neglected to think that she may have lost them in the earthquake. she's getting fitted for a prosthetic leg soon, and is excited to walk again one day. i love the hope that can be found in a child's face, in their story.

we also got to spend some time with lucy, peterson's wife and former teacher here at liberty academy in st. marc, and their 3-month-old baby girl. they were really sweet to open up their home to us, and be so hospitable while we were in the city waiting on the DTS outreach teams to arrive at the airport. lucy showed us around the beautiful home they were renting, and told us how every time they give the baby a bath, she has to pull tiny worms out of the running water. one of their staff also lives with them, a haitian that went through the earthquake. he is living in a tent on their concrete drive, for fear of the walls falling down and trapping him in the home like so many others he knows from the earthquake. life in haiti is a different sort of life.

late afternoon, the bus came to pick us back up, packed full of two dts outreach teams, one from Kona, HI; the other from LA. verdict: i'm old. they are all so young! each team is about 10 people, with two leaders each, and they each have one married couple (also younger than i!). all very nice and excited. it was actually really neat to be a part of their arrival to haiti. because i arrived on my own, i didn't get to share in the excitement or the novelty with anyone else. it was really neat to recall my own journey just a month ago to st. marc, and find familiarity in their anxiety and excitement. i spent much of the time smiling and chuckling to myself. as we entered the city and came around the mountains to the st. marc coast, i got to witness my first haitian sunset outside of the gates of the base. it was truly a beautiful moment.

***

saturday morning, i slept in. for the first time since i've been here i think! until 8:30! it was beautiful. i laid low, and went with a group to hike to the fort again. the weather was about 10 degrees cooler than last time, and i dressed more appropriately, trading my long sleeves for a tank top. about a twenty minute hike that winds between two small mountains, one must carefully watch their footing atop the dusty and rocky path. this proves to be more of a challenge coming downhill however (ask my newly acquired nalgeen, as it took a dive down the path as i scrambled to barely catch my balance when i hit a slick patch on the way back down).

we made the obligatory deli-mart stop, and then hit the pool at the base for a while, catching up on poolside girl talk and getting to know a few of the new outreach students. after the pool and the default shower-by-the-pool (what can i say, i'm a multi-tasker), i came home to clean the apartment-- a seemingly simple task for the small size and only tile floors. wrong. and frustrating to watch as the dust i empty into the trash blows right back in through the open door. let's just say, i'm glad i won't have cleaning duty for another 3 weeks.

late afternoon, i lead a group of the girls (alyssa, andrea, candice, lisa, and tamar) out to the market in search of some fresh veggies for the approaching easter holiday. utilizing my best english-to-french-to-creole-to-french-to-english, i managed to get 8 decent sized potatoes, 3 goliath-sized carrots, and a bundle of green onions, for about $2 US. not bad, even if i am a blanc and likely got gouged for my lack of bartering.

after dinner, i know i wound up at deli mart again, but i don't recall anything else exciting. overall, it was a fabulous day-- spending much of it in the great outdoors, Haiti's second greatest commodity, next to its people.

***

sunday morning came quick at 5:30 when my alarm quietly rang through my earplugs to wake me for my hour in the prayer room. bible, pens, journal and water in hand, i entered just before 6 and spent an hour in prayer, reading scripture for the latter 15 minutes or so. i was nervous that the lack of sleep would catch up to me in the silent solidarity of the art room, but its amazing how long you can spend in prayer when you commit yourselves to simply praying God's will for His people and work. i left a few minutes til 7 when the next person came to pray, but still didn't feel finished. so, i came home to read and pray for another hour, which was totally key. i took an hour nap from 8 til 9, and then got up to start bleaching the vegetables, baking a cake for jasen's birthday, and cooking for the day.

at 11, we headed to the prayer room for the commencement service and communion. it's amazing how this grungy, poorly lit, mosquito haven has been transformed with fresh white paint, colorful decor, plum pillows and cushions for kneeling, and a few staple pieces of furniture. we spent over an hour in prayer, praise, and worship and just dedicating the room to the Lord. terry, the national director of ywam haiti, spoke on how to pray using the Lord's prayer as a subject-heading model, and then we broke bread together in remembrance of Christ's death on the cross, and His life-saving resurrection, perhaps the most central, foundational truth regarding our faith.

during prayer, i was asking God what it was He told me to wait on; what it is and why it hasn't yet been revealed. without words, i just had a clear understanding that, similar to the infamous "A Few Good Men" line, "you want the truth? you can't handle the truth!" it was more or less an understanding that whatever it is, for whatever reason, is either too big for me to understand at this point, too crazy where i'd be stubborn and say "heck no, jesus!", too exciting where i would try to make my own path and pursue every opportunity as if it was an open door, even if i had to shove it open; or it would simply take my mind off what God has called me to do right now.

i know that is a lot of possibilities to say that i clearly understood, but it just made sense in my heart that it is not the Lord's time yet! He undoubtedly has something exciting for me up His sleeve, but just as already purchased Christmas gifts are often hidden in the attic for months prior, it is tucked away until the right season. so i have to find contentment in just pursing Him daily, seeking and serving what He has called me to, and trusting that whatever remains to be seen will be revealed within His preparation and timing.

after the service, i came back to the apartment where anne, farron and i ate our easter supper. i fixed homemade mashed potatoes with scallions, brown sugar carrots, green beans, creamed corn (actually, anne made that), and honey-glazed croissants. although it was an easter without ham, and left my annual tradition from childhood of perogies stateside, it was still delicious and such a better alternative to rice and beans (again) or the sunday PB&J packed lunch. after lunch, however, i did venture out to deli-mart (again) for a coke with a few staff volunteers and some of the kona/LA outreach girls.

church was wonderful as usual, but a bit long and i must admit I got a little heavy-lidded by the end of the service. after church, i went up to the office and we all shared cake (and a pack of donated oreos!) in honor of jasen's birthday.

***

monday morning the teachers were heathens. in observance of our day off from school, we also all skipped prayer meeting ... eek! oh well, it was the first one we've missed, and fortunately, there's safety in numbers!

it was a very light morning, and i was supposed to meet mike and his crew to head to pareese at 10 to help some families move into their new tent homes, but he had to run the pastor's back first, so i went to the prayer room for a little bit and got a little crafty in the creative corner :)

we finally headed down to the village, only to get there and wait ... and wait ... and wait. no one showed. so we spent a lot of time with the children, and i got to know a 5-year-old girl named melanie and a 9-year-old boy named kevin (or something similar). they were so sweet and both spoke creole and french, although kevin also dabbled in english and spanish. they were eager to help us repair the tents, fashioning patches with duct tape to further prevent any tears or holes in the greenhouse-style tent homes. because it was a hurry-up-and-wait situation, we mainly just practiced our french/creole with the children, and i got torn away from a larger group so the kids could play with (read: rip out) my unfamiliar blanc hair.

we left the village and got back to the base after lunch, so we got a quick reprieve from leftovers and got to eat the MREs-- its a shame that i deem pre-packaged, high caloric-preservative-sodium meals as a reprieve, but it's just nice to have something different every once and a while!

after lunch, i pretty much just journaled and spent some more time in the prayer room reading my bible and crafting cute scripture cards. i had initial plans to spend the afternoon out in the 5th section, a very rural village (think: african hut style) just north of st. marc; but those plans fell through. the rest of the day was extremely low-key, and naturally, was finished at epi-d'or, as a bon-voyage to a few of the short-term teamster's that came two weeks ago. for some reason, perhaps spiteful humor, it was an absolutely hilarious time. mike, dave, lisa, candice, tamar, alyssa, denise, anne-ruth, and andrea all joined for the ride, and between hawk-eyes at deli-mart, dave taking a thousand pictures with my camera, mike taking a thousand pictures of dave with the camera on my phone, and the amount of unnecessary food consumed, it was a priceless outing.

***

today, i was fully refreshed in the Lord and the children, even in their questionably-possessed moments, were angels. or, i was just too high on the Holy Spirit to be aware of the fact they were being crazy :) got a lot of lesson planning and center planning done today, but i likely won't implement much of it until thursday. spent an hour in the prayer room, in and out of consciousness however, and have been journalling all afternoon.

with the amount of people on base right now, i can't be late to dinner. until next time.

xoxo