i feel as if tonight i've been humbled, and that is never a bad thing, even when it feels like it. Proverbs 3:11 says "my child, don't reject the Lord's discipline, and don't be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." i think that is both the problem, and the solution.
alright, ya'll. confession time. which is also dubbed swallow-your-pride-to-make-room-for-that-slice-of-humble-pie. so bear with me, cos this bitter pill needs a turpentine chaser (thanks dash)-- i take things personally. i can't help but feel personally offended and wounded as if rebuke and discipline are a stab at my character and an attack of me personally. news-flash: get over yourself, Rhiannon. it's not about you. got it? yeah, didn't think so.
ya'll this is revelation. and not the sweet, manna-from-heaven revelation. but oh-so-needed. Hebrews 12 reminds us again to not be discouraged when we are rebuked by Him, for whom He loves He chastens; if we endure chastening, God deals with us as sons, as His children. it may not seem lovely, as "no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)
the book of Joel, although short in nature, is packed intensely with an example of a land left barren and destroyed by locusts, but then also left to the hand of the Lord: "the day of the Lord is an awesome, terrible thing. who can possibly survive?" the prophet asks in Joel 2:11. fortunately, the Lord is so quick to respond with a call to repentance in verse 12: "that is why the Lord says, "turn to me now, while there is time. give me your hearts. come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. don't tear your clothing in grief, but tear your hearts instead." return to the Lord your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He is eager to relent and not punish. who knows? perhaps he will give you a reprieve, sending you a blessing instead of a curse." (Joel 2:12-13)
what a great comfort to know that although God's wrath and discipline can be such a thing to fear; yet, when we seek out his mercy and generous forgiveness and compassion through repentance, He is not quick to anger, yet quick to cover us in His mercy and love! what goodness is in that!? as He disciplines us and sets us on the right course, He immediately graciously throws His arms around us as a father would to his grieved child.
as certain things have been rebuked as a whole, i've been taking a personal offense to them and therefore, harboring bitterness towards the authority over me. although unexpressed, it has had a definite effect on my negativity and overall tainted my sight of day-to-day things. even stuff that is small and monotonous, to the overarching things that are meant for our own safety and to uphold the image that YWAM has established in this community for over 20 years now. i've taken it personally, although it was never intended for that. as hard as it is for us me to realize sometimes, it's not about us me. thank the Lord for that, too.
i need to accept the discipline as a loving stern hand and understand that the chastening will yield peaceable fruit of righteousness. i need to learn how to not roll my eyes at authority or seemingly silly rules. and i need to not take it personally, letting it impact my attitude, behavior, and even--especially-- my spiritual life.
this was not the message i intended on writing. but as i vigorously flipped through my bible, i kept hearing joel, joel, joel! and the scripture i wanted (the one in hebrews) was not there! but once i went back and read through joel, i was so thankful that i heard that because i think they really matched up well! praise God for everything He is doing in me and through me, even when i am reluctant to have it.
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